Confused..

I cant tell if i love my life or hate it? is that weird?

there are days where i cant tell if I’m happy or sad or even if i know how to fix it..

I have work and school and sorority and Chris and my family and my friends and it is a lot of work..

thinking about that, idk if i want to take on more responsibility.. what i really want to do is fast forward like a year and 2 months from today.. to the day right before graduation … i know i would miss so much and that it is only theoretically possible but like i feel like then i technically wouldn’t have to do all of the work and make all of the decisions that i have to make in the next year..

^^ all of that said i also can not wait for the next year to see what it has in store for me.. where will i be, who will i be? and what will i be doing? i know there are so many things that i havent done yet. i want to accomplish so many things before i graduate.. and after of course.

this week in my life:

ive started working out again.. i kind of want to be a personal trainer, a. because they can charge whatever they want.. b. because it would make me work out.. c. time management duh? and d. because i could set my own hours + i love working out and helping other reach their potential haha.. sorry.. i worked out twice today 🙂 and now im exhausted.. and trying to make sure i have everything i need in my notes for my test tomorrow… hopefully it will be okay

i have to write 2 “papers” for my writing for mass media class, both of which i have no idea how to do.. but im sure i can figure it out.. and my big has already taken this class.. maybe she can help haha..

then of course, its halllowween!! which ive half decided i hate and half decided i love.. my life is a love/hate relationship.. everything i think about how cute everyone is going to look in their costumes.. i hate my life.. when i think of how much fun i had going trick or treating  i love halloween.. when i get in front of a mirror and try to decide what i want to be for halloween, i hate halloween.. that tends to be where i stop thinking about halloween and go to the gym. 🙂  maybe next year i will be in halloween shape.. although i dont think my body knows what halloween shape is..

i would really like to go home this weekend.. but it would be pointless because i would leave friday at like 12 and have to come back saturday so i could be at work on sunday at one.. or leave early sunday morning (yuck).. but chris is moving into his new apartment this weekend, and i think it would be really fun to go and help him move in 😦 ugh.. at least next semester i will be able to go home whenever i want! thats all i have to think about and im happy haha

anyways im at the library and exhausted so i think im gonna pack up and go home for the night

Live.

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One thought on “Confused..

  1. OF COURSE i’ll help you with your papers- are you able to use my blog post about the MC week speaker for that assignment?
    you should go home this weekend- why not?! halloween here is dumb anyway- just an excuse for girls to dress up sluttier than they already do.
    love you little 🙂

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